


Broken Wings

by P1rateW3nch



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Angst, F/M, Loss, beginning relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-11
Updated: 2016-01-11
Packaged: 2018-05-13 03:02:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5692147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/P1rateW3nch/pseuds/P1rateW3nch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liara helping Joker after Shepard's death. Written for the Mass Effect Fanfiction Writer's Secret Santa.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Broken Wings

**Author's Note:**

  * For [I_Write_Tragedies_Not_Sins](https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_Write_Tragedies_Not_Sins/gifts).



Joker brought the Normandy out of FTL and activated the emission sinks. He heard Pressly griping behind him, “We’re wasting our time. Four days searching up and down this sector, and we haven’t found any sign of geth activity.” 

Joker called over his shoulder at him, “Three ships went missing here in the past month. Something happened to them.”

Pressly snorted. “My money’s on slavers. The Terminus system is crawling with them.”

Ensign Jay, who had been assigned to monitor the scanners, called out, “Picking up something on the long-range scanner. Unidentified vessel. Looks like a cruiser.”

Joker pulled up the scans on his display and studied them. “Doesn’t match any known signatures.”

Ensign Jay called out, “Changing course, now on intercept trajectory.”

Pressly scoffed at her. “Can’t be. Stealth systems are engaged. There’s no way a geth ship could- “

Joker cut him off, “It’s not the geth. Brace for evasive maneuvers!”

Joker felt the _Normandy_ buck as a blast cut through the port wing. The blast caused an explosion in the cockpit, throwing Pressly off his feet. Joker winced as he heard the older man’s head crack against the floor. Joker glanced over as Jay cried out “Pressly!” but quickly returned his attention to the ship. The blast had opened several holes in the hull and knocked several inertial dampeners offline. He flinched as a terminal exploded and he heard a body thud to the ground.

Joker yelled over the comm, “Kinetic barriers down, multiple hull breaches, weapons offline. Someone get those fires out!” He felt the _Normandy_ buck again as she was hit three more times. He heard the order to evacuate come in, but he stayed at the helm, trying desperately to keep the ship in one piece. 

He opened a channel to any ships in the area, calling for any assistance. He started talking to the ship, begging her to hold on, just a little longer. He heard someone come into the cockpit, but he didn’t look away from the controls. He had worked too hard to get the _Normandy_ , he would be damned if he’d lose her like this. He fought when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Joker, the _Normandy_ is lost. It won’t do us any good to lose you too.” Shepard told him.

He struggled a bit more, then sighed. “You’re right. Help me up.” He griped at her as she helped him into an escape pod. He sat and strapped in, looking to her, waiting for her to join him. He was watching when another blast came through between Shepard and the escape pod. He was watching when an explosion sent her hurtling into the black. 

He was still screaming her name when they found him, hours later.

———————————————————————————

The memorial was massive. The Council attended, along with the ambassadors of all the Citadel races. Joker couldn’t listen. They all made speeches, talking about her bravery and dedication, but none of them mourned her. Her crew, her squad, stood silent in a cluster to one side. Admiral Hackett and Captain Anderson stood by, keeping the crowds away from her people.

Tali stood with her hand on Wrex’s hump. Garrus and Kaiden stood with the crew, silently standing as rocks for the emotional storm. Joker watched the crew come together in their shared grief and sighed. _They only came together because of her. This was what she wanted. He sighed and turned away. She died for me. None of them would ever forgive me for that._

“Joker.” He paused briefly when he heard Liara call his name, then kept on. “Joker, wait.” She caught up with him _not that difficult. If I was faster, not as stubborn, maybe she would have lived_ and put a hand on his shoulder. 

“Joker….” She trailed off, catching the leading edge of his grief. It staggered her for a moment, and Joker continued to walk away.

Liara hugged herself as she watched him go. She knew that he blamed himself for Shepard’s death, but couldn’t see how to ease his grief. She turned when she heard a footstep behind her and found herself facing Garrus. The turian was watching Joker limp off, browplates furrowed.

“He blames himself.” Liara told him.

Garrus nodded once, then turned his attention to her. “You should go with him. He was Shepard’s brother, she would hate to see him like this.”

Liara reached out to him, then nodded and followed the broken pilot away from the crowd.

———————————————————————

Joker stopped in a small park and slumped on a bench, burying his face in his hands. He felt a hand rest on his shoulder, but he shrugged it away. He didn’t deserve comfort. It was his stubbornness and pride that had cost the galaxy Shepard when it needed her most. He heard the one who had followed him sigh, then sit on the bench beside him.

“No one blames you, Joker.” Liara said after a long silence.

He breathed a laugh. “I do” he almost whispered.

Liara turned to him.”You did what you thought was necessary. You managed to save most of the crew.”

Joker jerked away. “I couldn’t save her! She died because she was trying to save my sorry ass! If I had evacuated when she ordered-”

He broke. That was the only way Liara could describe it. He crumbled into himself and wept. Liara caught him and held him to her chest, murmuring empty words and platitudes as she felt his grief well up. She was prepared for it this time, and weathered the storm of his loss with him. She tried to project what Garrus had said, and what she knew about their relationship, to him as he wept.

“She wouldn’t want you to blame her for her choice.” Liara said softly, stroking Joker’s hair as his sobs quieted.

He sighed and straightened up. “I know. It’s going to take a while to convince myself, though.”

Liara rested a hand on his shoulder. “Come on. Let’s get you home.”

Once outside the rooms that the Alliance prepared for the squad, Liara turned to leave. Joker impulsively grabbed her wrist. She glanced at his hand, surprised, then her gaze flicked up to meet his.

“Don’t…I don’t want to be alone right now. Please?” he asked, praying that she wouldn’t see the request as a weakness.

“Alright.” She followed him into the apartment and let the door close behind her.


End file.
